It is Captain Shelley reporting in from Buckaroo in Guana Cay. Unfortunately the Conch sales from my vast 4 shell collection have been slower than expected - I guess it is a result of the downturn in the economy and not because of any marketing deficiency on my part. I don't want anybody to worry about my future during this difficult time, I met Ryan Seacrest last night and am pretty sure that he will leave his current beautiful dancer girlfriend for me and I will be able to close down my shell business and just enjoy the islands. I have thought about using any left over conch shells to make some stilts for my new boyfriend Ryan as I learned last night he is much shorter than he is handsome. Picture exists of our first meeting.....counting on the Morgans to provide said evidence.
Shelley Pierce Brill
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